I Want to Change NOW!
Once we decide to change something about ourselves, we create a HUGE amount of pressure to get it done right f’ing now! We are tired of waiting, sick of ourselves and good and ready for a change. Take a breath… I’m sorry to tell you that isn’t how change is actually achieved. It’s not how we are built, and it’s not how our brain or energy system works. Take heart though, there is actually a better and gentler way…
We are built to behave in ways that keep us safe emotionally and physically. For instance, we don’t have to think about looking for cars when we cross the street – this behaviour pattern keeps us safe and alive. Your emotional patterns work on the same principle … if you have experienced it and lived, then it is considered safe. This includes the good, the bad and the emotionally ugly. So think of is this way… if I had magically been gifted a “new” me with perfect eating habits, a competitive athletes body, an always gentle and loving personality that constantly gave back (my personal vision) … I would never have been able to handle it. That is to say, that my energy system would recognize this as a threat to my safety because I have never experienced this before, and it would actively try to bring me back to what it knows is safe (also known as self-sabotage). Often, the changes we are wishing for require such an enormous difference in our emotional states, that if we actually got them, it would completely immobilize us. Remember that our energetic systems don’t differentiate between good and bad emotions … we only recognize the vibration. Our system’s job is to keep us at vibrations that we know and feel safe with. So consider your “wish” for the new you is energetically equivalent on the positive end, to say getting fired on the negative end. It isn’t “safe” for you to experience either drastic change on the spectrum of emotions. We all need to recognize the scope of what we are asking for, and scale it appropriately to what we can handle.
The solution here is to be gentle with yourself. Choose goals and targets that allow your system to understand that it is safe to feel this good, this happy, this powerful. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, as it takes consistency and practice, but it is reality. Our brains create neural pathways that direct our behaviour through repetition in thought, action and feelings. So you need to take the steps consistently so that the changes are recognized as safe, and at the same time you are building a strong neural pathway (pattern of thinking and feeling) that will become your new normal.
Think of this like climbing a mountain. Your body will accept the altitude changes if you walk up. You may experience some discomfort, but you will be able to do it. If you were simply lifted to the top, your body would be in crisis. It is the same with your emotions, so please plan to take the steps and walk at your own pace. The destination is still there, but this way you will not only get there, but getting to the top will be your new normal.
Love who you are today so that who you are trying to become is a natural transition, not a forced regime change.