The Wondrous, Mysterious DivaCup
Who wants to talk about something horribly uncomfortable? No one? Good, me neither.
Okay, fine. In honor of the Women’s March on Saturday, I am opening up about personal lady problems. On Saturday, I plan to stand in from of the capital with 200,000 other women and demand respect for our lady parts. Being a Spice Girls fan, I am most excited about being able to yell “GIRL POWER” and have a purpose behind it.
I guess I am also excited about showing the world how powerful our periods can be.
Nope. Strike that.
I don’t want my period to be powerful. I would prefer if it was powerless, especially over me. Really, I would love if I could walk into Planned Parenthood, pay zero dollars, and shoot myself up with chemicals so I never have another period. Thanks USA for ruining that for me. Now, apparently being a woman is a preexisting condition. What?
So, I am using my internet voice to blast some knowledge about my unfortunate “situation” that is menstruation.
My puberty story is like most others, I think (except that it happened way later than most… I guess I didn’t eat enough hormone riddled chicken).
I was 15, I was in horrible pain, and then I bled everywhere. It was great. Now, maybe unlike others, I decided to hide it for as long as humanly possible. Seriously, no one knew for like six months.
I snuck pads and panty liners out of my moms bathroom when she was at work. I hated feeling like I had a diaper on and whatever weird odor was happening was equally as uncomfortable.
One day, I was forced to graduate to tampons because I had to go to the pool. I never looked back.
So, I’ve used tampons for almost 10 years. I have never been really happy with them. Sure, for me they are better than pads, but still not perfect. I hate the constant fear of leaking and trying to discreetly carry one to the bathroom during work or school.
Recently, I have been hearing a lot about alternatives. I mean they even have underwear you can free bleed into now. Suddenly, the menstruating world is my oyster.
Let’s be clear before we continue. I am not in favor of PeriodPanties. I am barely on the DivaCup train so I have a long way to go before I just let loose.
So, alternatives. They are good, right? I researched online for about three months before I mustered up the courage to actually walk into a drugstore and buy a DivaCup. I read so many positive reviews. Women’s lives were seemingly being saved. No more irritation from tampons, no more leaks, no more landfills. And then I read horror stories. One woman had a DivaCup suction to her cervix and had to have it removed in the emergency room.
But I finally got on board. And I am glad I did.
I never though I would say that.
Six months ago I would have vomited at the sight of a “vagina cup”. I can only imagine the horror on my face. “I’m sorry ma’am, you want me to stick that where!?”
I conquered my fears though! And if I can, so can you.
Be prepared for the weirdness that will happen in your bathroom. I think my husband though I was performing an exorcism the first few times I had to wrangle the DivaCup in place.
Between psyching myself up and practicing techniques, it took me a good half hour to get it in. And sometimes just as long to get it out.
The DivaCup is awkward but magical.
- No, you cannot feel it
- It barely ever leaks
- Leave it in for 12 hours
- You don’t have to carry it around
- Just rinse it in the shower
What more could you ask for?
As someone who suffered with heavy flows and leakage and horrible post-tampon irritation, I back the DivaCup 100%.
Do it for your sanity, your health, and your environment.
And how awesome is it that you only have to buy it once? Way to stick it to that “period tax” ladies. I get ultimate satisfaction from the fact that the government will make no more money off of taxing my lady products.
Visit the DivaCup website to learn more and become apart of the revolution with your very own wondrous, mysterious DivaCup.
Rock on with your bad selves!